Riddles for Men

Something to share from an email i received. Enjoy!

Go on, have a good laugh.........

GOOD MORNING & CHEERS


Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catch the drops.

Q: What s the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward....backward.... forward.... stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology..

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

* 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:

>> Beautiful,
>> Responsible
>> Energetic
>> Adorable
>> Sweet
>> Truthful and
>> Self-Organized.

>> In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S


Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt.
Guess where it would have bitten?
>> The boy's hand......

* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.

Tarzan asked "Why"?
The animals told him.......... .."Your tail is in the front"


>> Last but not least

>> Secret of long life...

>> Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night between two legs…

Chill and Lonely

These are the typical Friday nights being at home chilling and watching TV for hours like I've never watched for years, stoning on the seat at the screen, blank all over my brain. A typical and lonely night without fun, gosh how I wish I have someone to share some intimate session or having a wild sexperience that leads to sexploration. Pretending being the nice guy in the bar or club, meeting someone new and having this sinister plan to get the juice out of the gal, or simply being curious of whats underneath the synthetic skin that a friend we know for so long but never to have the chance to touch them close and passion enough, i mean thru the means of sexploration. I've tried that once and will share when the mood swings to that vector :)

Arrrghhh

I hope to find serenity today, all by myself hopefully trying to figure out some things that had been haunting me. Cant wait for C to come back from oversea. Guess i'll spend more time while C is around coz she may leave overseas again. Hoping there isn't any calls today to bug me.

WTF

WTF! J called me last night asking if i had dinner, then 2nd call to tell me she's going to Salsa with her frens? Why all of the sudden she tells me things like that, like I care as she dont like to share her activities before, so why now? There was a momentary silence in the phone when she told be where she wanna go, is she expecting me to say, 'can i join?' or 'wow, thats great, have fun gal'. Sometimes i feel blatantly stupid to entertain her calls.

Twisted

Many says women are a very difficult subject to comprehend, and I cant agree more as i've experienced 6 past relationships that failed, only to end up with 2 that has an indefinite journey and tangled with varying outcome.

I've met J 2 years back, she was my ex-colleague and my subordinate. I've never exepcted I would get into a relationship with her due to our profession status in the office, however we got out clubbing one fine day and things took its course from there. During the early days of our relationship, it was of a typical type, I wasn't serious that time as I know I wont end up with any outcome with her. I also learnt that she broke-up with her ex that cheated her not long after we started. There was one period she was seeing her ex whilst being with me. There isn't anything much I can do to stop her as I was very in love with her and holding the hope that she would one day accept me whole heartedly. I always felt that I was a temporary replacement deep inside me and also as a means of a kill time companion. J always made me confused of how she feels for me, for she treats me as a friend, a good friend, a lover or even an ex-bf for that means. Thats because our relationship has been on a constant roller coaster with multiple occasions of break-ups and make-ups. Usually its simple, when she breaks up with me (I mean dumped me, sometimes for another guy, sometimes incompatibility), I would have just carry on completely cut off all communications.

Just when most of our break-up periods mature to a certain level, J would usually contact me and start dating me or shall I say asking me out for dinner or lunch on a casual basis, as if we're good friends, but her actions had always kept me wonder, what is it she wanted. J usually kept the cut-off period not to prolonged for too long. Could she have been dumped by another guy or is she bored? Or is she looking for opportunities to get back together, but everytime I asked her, she always says that I'm not her type. And this is happening for the past 2 freaking years already. There is a part of me that is very fed-up and tired, whereas another part of me still foolishly awaiting for her to accept me back and wanting her to be my wife. Perhaps it is our age barrier, she is a very adventurous person and I'm rather the conservative in relationship. I knew she has been seeing many guys out there that she never share or kept away from my knowledge even as friends. Perhaps I have not earned her trust, or perhaps she wants to be another person for me.

What I need to decipher right now is that of late, we recently kinda broke off again, as I was trying very hard to please her and make her accept me. But not long after that, she started sharing with me that she had met the guy she was looking for, her perfect guy that has the exact personality liked her in a club. I was so angry and jealous! Maybe due to the fact I haven't gave up and she found someone else. She mentioned so many wonderful things about this guy, his good looks, good built, good career, got a car, condo, bla bla bla and a PR in UK. Yeah, so maybe its these qualities that I dont have with me YET! But not long after they got together, and they started in the first week, he left to UK for his job assignments. So there she is, still here perhaps lonely, started asking me to company her for lunches and dinners and even gyms. Just last night she shared with me that she has lost communication with him, but she still likes him. Damn. And I have to pretend cool about it? I don't know whether this guy exists coz all I know about him is thru her and his funny english name. Am I being treated as a temporary replacement again to kill time? Or am I being foolish again thinking there might be a chance for us to get together and even married or am I just stupid enough to even think about it.

If anyone is reading this post, please leave some comments or some advise to help me decipher this confusion. The ultimate question would be, does she still like me and wanna get back together or NOT?